The Restless Poet

You…Why do you keep showing up in my dreams? I thought I had rid myself of your presence with the goodbye dream.

I woke this morning glaring back at the brilliant, shining rays, not wanting my slumber to be interrupted because there you were again. I couldn’t finish the dream though, the heat from the sunshine stirring my brain, activating my senses.

You have become as irritating as the sand clinging to my ass after a day at the beach. Abrasive but a reminder of good times. I’m confused when I ponder this dream though.

I’m sitting at a diner, having a coffee. Books laid out on the table, pen and notebook to catch my dripping thoughts. Trucks pulling in and out of the lot, swirling the dust of ground stone into small dirt devils. My view hazy as I glance out the window hoping words begin to dance in my mind.

My breath skips because my eyes catch sight of familiarity. A figure slipping through the swinging door that is all too recognizable. You, striding toward the counter without a glance over your shoulder. You don’t see me and I breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t ready to create a conversation. I wouldn’t know how to start.

I was happy though. The sight of you always puts a smile on my face, even in my dreams. You were in and out in a flash. Your bike had broke down and you were only stopped to wrestle with the problem and then get on your way.

You slid back out the door as quickly as you came in. I watched you though, sitting with my chin in my hands, mesmerized by your movements. You were annoyed but not enough to be angry. Almost imperceptible but just enough jerk in the tug to show it.

I had to leave, I absolutely had to be somewhere and I was quite sure I would be seen as I had to pass in front of you to get to my truck. I didn’t have a choice. I stood, grounded my nerves, collected everything, took a deep breath and headed out.

You spotted me instantly. A hint of amusement but clouded ever so slightly I’m sure by the same thoughts going through my mind. Neither of us spoke. I walked by, lowering my gaze. I wouldn’t know where to start. You turned your attention back to your bike.

I climbed in my Jeep, closed the door and started the engine. I sat for a brief moment, not sure where I was even supposed to be headed. You were on my mind and I desperately wanted to get out and walk toward you. I didn’t though. I put it into drive and started out, but I lifted my head just in time to see your mouth form the words, “I love you.”

And then the golden daggers of the sun erased the scene, leaving me to imagine the remainder of that encounter.

Maybe some doors should stay shut.

Damn…