The alarm sounded and pulled me out of my slumber as I was just settling into a deep sleep after tossing about most of the night. I didn’t want to wake from this one. I was content and gloriously happy. Typical of a grand dream that makes you want to go back to sleep and hit play and possibly rewind and begin again.
After a few nights of you being absent in these nighttime soirées, I was beginning to wonder if I would see you again. But then brilliantly, you dazzled me with an entire sleep of keeping me company. Delirious!
Usually the setting is somewhat familiar or at least plausible for our location but we must have been feeling adventurous and took off for a more rugged setting. We were in the mountains, out west was the inkling I got. It was mesmerizing, clear blue skies and quiet. We weren’t going to have any distractions, with the exception of our emotions. Cliches ringing true.
We had driven my Jeep out there, maybe to breathe a different air or have a wider middle ground. It was heavenly – you could smell the chill settling from the snow sifted mountains tops. We weren’t talking, only eavesdropping on the musicians’ inner world. We were headed to a stream, music of the natural world. Somewhere peaceful with no interruptions.
I was afraid to speak. Not because I didn’t know what to say but because I didn’t know how to say what was in my heart effectively. I didn’t want it to come out less than. So I just stared…stared…stared. I took in all the details, every perfectly placed feature. I never have to talk when you are near. I feel your energy and that is better than any words. I think you spoke first. Teasing me for gawking, though I knew it thrilled you. I think you told me to shut my mouth before a fly took it for a landing zone. I laughed and relaxed. I missed the good-natured teasing. I blushed but it was a flush of delight.
I’m not sure our destination was anything but that. A destination to somewhere, to muddle through things. I don’t recall much of the conversation. I think mostly picking up where we left off, pausing to take in the scenery or listen to the sounds of the woods. A fresh day but I’m not quite sure if it was a fresh start. I’m baffled as to whether this was a second chance or a throat closing, dreaded ending. The latter making my heart skip a few beats at the thought.
My awakening occurred as the sun was beginning to set on our resting spot in the mountains. We hadn’t gotten to the nitty gritty of our conversation. I was anticipating it though. This might be it. The last time our auras mixed, our laughter mingled and our thoughts collided. I believe I woke so I wouldn’t be confronted by the brutality of a farewell. It would hurt too much. I could feel my bated breath as my eyes drifted open. Oh how I wish we could head to the mountains just for a moment.
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