The Restless Poet

Emotional chaos running rampant like an excited puppy uncovering new territory. My mind is bounding from one side to another. This state of mind is making me fidgety and disconsolate. Writing this in my journal looks as if I’m absentmindedly doodling but in reality, my hand is shaking noticeably and the words are illegible.

This lingering feeling of discomfort, a quiet dread, is enough to irritate me like a scratched record continuing to skip. I can’t hear the music over the incessant crackle.

My cognitive framework is shifting but I’m afraid it is teetering back toward the negative. My attention keeps switching from the barriers my mind has erected to the blank space where my memories had been and how to interpret it all. It is making it hard to problem solve or adjust my perspective. I have so much to say but I don’t know how to articulate it without my thoughts coming out as complete nonsense. I’m having a problem even scribbling them on paper and making it understandable.

This confusion is annoying, an emotional anesthesia that is dulling my pain. I enjoy not having to claw may way out of a sob session but the numbness has disconnected the wires of my emotional epicenter, my feelings suspended indefinitely.