The Restless Poet

Hope. Peace. Joy. Love. These are the words I want to live. I want to remove the words that bring no purpose. Discard any that bring pain and grief. Concentrate on one at a time but knowing that one will lead to two and so on.

However, before I can get there I have to heal myself. I have to love myself and I’m not sure if I ever have. I always thought that I did but it’s become obvious that if it had once been true, it ceased to be at some point along the way. Maybe it was a little at a time and I just took no notice. It’s possible I never quite knew how to love myself and thinking that it was selfish of me to do that. I’ve always felt guilt where guilt didn’t belong. I couldn’t see how loving yourself manifests into a better life not only for me but also allows healthy and safe relationships for those that enter our lives along the way. I was always great at taking care of my body but I lacked in the area of my head and my heart. I never felt I had earned it. The hard part is believing I deserve it and holding fast to that commitment. Maybe it needs to be read: Love. Hope. Peace. Joy. Love. The first love is for me and then the healing followed by the rest.