The Restless Poet

I know this is procrastination from writing what I’m supposed to be working on but it’s been a bingo ball rolling around for a good couple of weeks. The questions won’t be answered but I still find the topic curious and begging for attention.

Where did the presence that lingered in our house for years go to haunt next or is it still here just sitting quietly in an unused corner somewhere? I wish I had taken notes on the heart-flickering sightings as they have become somewhat muddled over the years. How thin is the space between us?

I miss the dark-blue cloaked figure, with a white face and no features. We never got answers just this mysterious form floating through the house, making her presence known. I still wonder if she was protecting my oldest as she centered her attention around him, so much so that she followed him to his Marine base and Iraq, brilliantly frightening his suite mates in the quiet when he wasn’t around.

I still want to believe it was mom, letting us know she is still here. As she said in her last words, “I have a plan.” She showed herself within hours of passing. I think she knew to make it obvious to both of us because I wouldn’t have believed what I saw if someone else hadn’t witnessed it also. I asked her to visit me after she passed, I needed to feel her there. We were always connected without words and still have that bond. We were both of little conversation but I will always wish I could have said all I never said while she was in this realm. It’s so much harder now that it’s more of a one-sided conversation.

She is brilliant though, waiting for the right moment when we happened to have our focus in the same direction at the same time. I love that she picked my room first. I felt like I was getting my request personalized. My doll from lifetimes ago was face down on the floor from one of the kids haphazardly abandoning her there. We were in the hallway looking at family pictures and trying to make sense of the morning. We both turned to look into my old room at the same time and the doll’s arm started moving up and down like it was waving. It was fabulous. Beautifully fantastic that we both saw it.

That was only the beginning. Within a couple of months we would see the figure in a long navy cloak making its way through every corner of the house. It was always a side view but we almost always were together when it would appear. I just wish I knew the meaning behind it.

The only person to see it head on was my son’s girlfriend. They were in the basement and he was sitting on the floor playing video games. His girlfriend looked over and saw the figure hovering over him. She saw the faceless presence, all white and motionless. Scared them both but I never felt frightened in the least.

It’s been a couple of years now since we’ve seen her. I wonder if her duty is done and the need is no longer there. We will never know but I feel her here with us and do hope to see her soon. I could desperately use some wisdom from the other side.