The Restless Poet

These dreams…they are telling me something but I’m clueless as to what I’m supposed to be reading them as or perhaps they are my mind’s form of entertainment.

I woke up surly today. Weird sleep again last night and then this dream approaching me right as I was waking or maybe it was the desperate hopelessness lingering over me like a heavy stone on a crane that moved my eyelids open.

I don’t recall as much of this dream but we are in the same place as the goodbye dream. I’m moving from room to room the entire time but I had reason. I don’t remember the reason but I don’t think it is important. You were all over too, but just stopping and chatting with people, a theme I am finding in these dreams…lol. You were wearing a maroon sweatshirt, crimson like a deep setting sun. I saw a lot of it too because I only could see you from the back.

Faceless, you were making a point to me. An obvious avoidance that couldn’t be ignored. I would get a side glance and then you would turn quickly. I’m not sure if you did it to purposely prove a point or it was a reaction because you didn’t know what to say. Either way, I got the picture…I’ve been removed.

I’m in a perpetual state of melancholy. The pressure in my chest screams sadness and lost understanding but my detachment keeps me from truly feeling it the way I want to so I can move on. It’s frustrating though because every time I dream, I am pulled back into this ugly stage of grief. I think I know now what it feels like to die from heartbreak. Tonight, my dream prayer is that if you are going to appear that you say something to me. Let me in, the silence is crushing.